Driven Racing Billet Aluminum Pizza Cutter

This pizza cutter from Driven Racing, and sold by the fine people at Sportbike Track Gear is pro-level, MotoGP-ready badassedness! The precision cutting wheel goes through a crispy pizza pie crust like a premium penetrating oil cuts through cheap rust, and the stout hand grip gives positive traction & feedback for your fingers, which are kept safe & sound behind an aerodynamic finger guard that is impervious to the super-heated cheese & oils that splash up randomly during high-speed maneuvers which are made possible by the perfect rake & trail engineered into the single-sided fork that help it maintain it's precision cutting lines from apex to apex, and will allow you to maintain rows of parallel & perpendicular surgical incisions across a crispy pie crust with the utmost of ease, if you prefer Chicago cut pies. I'd take on Kylo Ren with THIS bad motherjumper, and it's galactic awesomeness would allow me to walk away from the fracas unscathed and fully intact, leaving his crumpled and broken form in a heap on the floor behind me, and with his lightsaber dangling from a lanyard on my belt. If you don't have this pizza cutter, or a pizza cutter like this, and you're NOT expending every available resource at your disposal to acquire one, then I just don't know what the h-e-double-hockey sticks you are doing with your life, but you need to get your mind right, keep your eyes on the prize, and get with the program before it's too late! 'Nuff said, Fred. ;)